Saturday, May 30, 2009

get to know me.

i feel like writing, so here goes.

i've started twirling my hair when i get nervous. i don't bite my nails anymore. i love the smell of freshly cut grass, but it makes me sneeze. i don't like the way i look, but i almost love my hair. i love my eyes. i love scary movies, but i hate watching them by myself. i love watching them when i can cuddle with someone. i have the most fun cooking when i'm cooking with a friend. i love cheesey movies. i want to travel the world. i've made a lot of stupid mistakes in my life, but i wouldn't redo anything. i hate tomatoes and cucumbers. i hate talking to the people on the phone. i love listening to classical music. i hate rap. i'm going to central next year. i love teddy bears. i love surprises. i love history. i love fiction. i love dancing, although i suck at it.

i hate it when people eat with their mouth open. i hate when people don't put the toilet paper on the right way. i love hugs. i love meeting new people. i want to meet the president. i want to become a famous writer. i want to own my own restaurant.

there's this boy i love dearly, i can't let him go. there's this girl i love dearly, she's my sister. there's a few other kids i love dearly as well. i would do anything for them.

i have eight siblings. i love all of them dearly. i only really know two of them. i haven't met two of them. i used to care what the older ones thought of me. i don't care anymore. i can't change their mind about me. yes, it still hurts. but they are always in my heart. they are still family. i would do anything for any of them.

i love blue. i love pink. i love color. i love the beatles. i love monkeys and penguins. i love animals. i love balloons and ribbon. i love quotes. i love sticky notes. i love medicine. i love that this country has a lot of diversity. i love new things.

i'm not anything special. i don't have any amazing talents. i play flute. i write. i hope to change the lives of many. i cry a lot. i get pretty moody. i'm happy most of the time. i don't like people to worry about me too much. i try to smile even when it's hard. i try to laugh as much as i can. i love giving other people compliments, and i love recieving them as well.

one day, i hope to have an amazing teaching job. i don't know where, or what i'll teach. i hope to get married. i want to have kids. i'll adopt, or even be a foster parent. i absolutely love babies. if you need a babysitter, i'm the one to call. i want to have a big house, where i have room to entertain. i would love to have friends and family come to my house all the time. i love being a hostess. i want to lead a youth group, because i want to teach kids about god.

i love to talk. i'm really shy sometimes. i get stage fright, but after senior boards, it's not as bad. i would love to be a motivational speaker. i would love to teach kids about the dangers of alcohol and drugs.

well.
i don't know what else to write.
so i'm done for now.
did you learn anything new?

i'm scared.

i'm scared of thunderstorms.
i'm scared of deep water.
i'm scared of what's going to happen next time i see you.
i'm scared that it's going to happen again.
i'm scared for you.
i'm scared that you're making a mistake.
i'm scared that i might like you more than a friend.
i'm scared that you won't like me.
i'm scared that things have changed between us, in a bad way.

but here's the deal,
i'm not scared that things are changing between us.
i'm excited to see you again.
i'm excited that we're going to stay in touch.
i'm happy because if things do work out between us,
i know that you're a good guy.
i know that i don't have to be scared of thunderstorms or deep water,
because someone is always with me.
i know that i have nothing to be scared of,
because if you need help,
i will always be there for you.