thank you.

I need to thank you for being there.
Thank you for making me who I am today.
Thank you for making my world go upside down.
Thank you for being you.
I love you.
:]

I want to be your princess.
I want to be your happy ending.
I want to be your dream come true.
Maybe not now.
Most likely later in life.
But one day,
One fantastic day in the future,
I will have my fairytale.
I will have my prince.
<3

Oblivious

You are so oblivious.
I'm falling head over heels,
for you of all people.
You're not a normal jock.
You listen to Frank Sinatra.
Yet you don't see me.
Not now,
maybe later.
You give me butterflies,
and I just wish you'd see.

What happened?
You used to be so sweet.
You used to be nice.
You used to help.
Now you're mean.
You're not sweet.
You have a horrible attitude all the time.
I miss the old you.
I wish you could see what you've become.

I'm tired of this.
of all the grey,
of all the white,
i want blue.
i want light.
no darkness.
no wetness.
no coldness.
but,
living in washington,
no one gets that.

using quotes to express myself.

Sometimes when I want to write, I'm stuck. I get writer's block. Well, guess what? Right now is one of those times. I can almost find a quote to express the way I'm feeling. These quotes are found in various places by the way. Sorry if it's a little long. :]

These years that I have been in love have been
the darkest days of my life. All because I've been
cursed by being in love with a man who does not
and will not love me back. Oh god, just the sight of him!
Heart pounding! Throat thickening! Absolutely can't swallow!
All the usual symptoms.
+ + The Holiday

My motto was always to keep swinging.
Whether I was in a slump or feeling badly or
having trouble off the field, the
only thing to do was keep swinging
+ + Hank Aaron

When you're a winner you're always happy,
but if you're happy as a loser you'll always be a loser.
+ + Mark Fidrych

Don't be afraid to give your best to what
seemingly are small jobs. Every time you
conquer one it makes you that much stronger.
If you do the little jobs well, the big ones will
tend to take care of themselves.
+ + Dale Carnegie

Every day, in every way,
I am getting better and better.
+ + Emile Coue

The first duty of love - is to listen. --Paul Tillich

I've been waiting my whole life for the right guy to come

along, and then you showed up. And you're nothing like

the man I imagined. You're cynical and cranky and

impossible. But the truth is fighting with you is the best

thing that's ever happened to me. And I think there's a

very good chance that I'm falling in love with you.
-27 Dresses

Every defeat, every heartbreak, every loss,
contains its own seed, its own lesson on how
to improve your performance the next time.
+ + Og Mandino

Out of suffering comes creativity.
You cannot spell painting without pain.
+ + John Lithgow

Whenever I hear, "It can't be done,"
I know I'm close to success.
+ + Michael Flatley

The world is moving so fast these days that
the man who says it can't be done is generally
interrupted by someone doing it.
+ + Fosdick, Harry Emerson

Do not bother just to be better than your
contemporaries or predecessors.
Try to be better than yourself.
+ + Willam Faulkner

"eventually, whatever it is that was getting us high stops feeling good and starts to hurt. they say if you don't kick the habit until you hit rock bottom. but how do you know when you're there? because no matter how badly something hurts us, sometimes, letting go hurts even more."

"I love you, not only for what you are, but for
what I am when I am with you."
-Roy Croft

"All of the "I need you's", consider them lies.
Because here I am without you, I survived."

"I don't even know what I want. Maybe I just
want to be someone's everything. A good
morning and good night."

"tell me you'll never forget me; because if
i thought you would i would never leave."

"i cannot even imagine where I would be today
were it not for that handful of friends
who have given me a heart full of joy.
let's face it, friends make life a lot more fun."
-charles swindoll

Optimism is the faith that leads to achievement.
Nothing can be done without hope or confidence.
+ + Helen Keller

People become really quite remarkable when
they start thinking that they can do things. When
they believe in themselves they
have the first secret of success.
+ + Norman Vincent Peale

Tomorrow is the most important thing in life.
Comes into us at midnight very clean.
It's perfect when it arrives and puts itself in our hands.
It hopes we've learned something from yesterday.
+ + John Wayne

Have any favorites out of these?

Birth Control.

So in my human development class, we are talking about different birth control methods.
Today we covered the history of birth control, and we also talked about some old methods.
They are crazy.
Here are some of those methods:

1. Weasel Testicles
2. Diaphragm: made out of crocodile poo
3. Beaver Testicles, with alcohol
4. Mercury
5. Diaphragms made out of gold and silver
6. Animal Intestines
7. Diaphragms of Opium
8. Lemons
9. Blacksmith Water
10. Coca-cola douche
11. Wood block pessary (sounds painful. What happened if you got a splinter up there?)
12. An actual sea sponge


I don't know about you,
but if those were my options, I'd rather not have sex than have one of those. A lot of those sound painful, unsafe, or plain disgusting.

Thoughts?

Music-part one.

So I'm supposed to be doing my homework,
but I'm really listening to music and doing other things. :]
I thought I would share some music that I like,
and it won't be in any particular order,
just what song comes on first. :]

1. Cry- Mandy Moore
I don't really like Mandy Moore, but I fell in love with this song when it played in A Walk To Remember. This one of two songs I like by her.

2. If I Ain't Got You- Alicia Keys
There are songs I hate by Alicia Keys. I really like this one though. Her voice is amazing.
I love these lines: "Some people want it all, but I don’t want nothing at all. If it ain't you baby, if I ain't got you baby"

3. Fallin'- Alicia Keys
Another Alicia Keys song. I love it, thanks to my Mom. Reminds me a lot of someone I don't exactly want to think about all the time though.

4. Bleeding Love- Leona Lewis
The first time I heard this song, I fell in love with it. I totally connected with the song. Now, I really like Lewis' voice, but I'm sick of the song. It's played on the radio wayyyy too much.

5.Fidelity- Regina Spektor
I love this song. I love her voice. Enough said.

6. SexyBack- Justin Timberlake
So this is not one of those "I'mtotallyinlovewithsongIwanttohearitoverandover" kind of songs. But I do love it. It reminds me of band days at Mariner, and AJ. :]

7. Held- Natalie Grant
"This is what it means to be held
How it feels when the sacred is torn from your life
And you survive
This is what it is to be loved and to know
That the promise was that when everything fell
We'd be held"

I like the lyrics to this song, and I also love her voice.
Definitely a song worth listening too.

8. Jesus of Suburbia- Greenday
This is one of the first Greenday songs I heard. I fell in love with that band thanks to my best friend. :] This song feels a little long though.

9. Wasted-Carrie Underwood
"I don't wanna' spend my life jaded
Waiting to wake up one day and find
That I've let all these years go by
Wasted"

First of all, I like Carrie Underwood. Secondly, I like this song. I don't want to be like my Dad, and this song says that.

10. I Want It That Way- Backstreet Boys
I strongly dislike this song. The reason I added it was because it used to be my favoriteeeeee song ever. It was worth listening to it when I was younger. Now I have the cd hanging up on my wall. :]

i wrote a new poem today,

in like five minutes.
i was waiting for the bell to ring.
tell me what you think.
:]


you're scared.
i can feel it.
don't worry.
i'm scared too.
change is hard.
next year we'll have an amazing summer.
and next year we'll be in college.
we'll have the time of our lives.
so let's not be scared.
let's face our fears.
we'll always remember our times together.
what happens next is a mystery.
next year will be different for everyone.
we'll make it through the change.
we're a family now, and we will be then.
i'll never forget the class of '09.





P.S. It's raining really hard. :[